Notorious means to be well known but not always for the best of reasons. Nefelibata (pronounced “nef-el-ee-baa-ta”) stems from the Portuguese word “Nephele” which means cloud. “Batha” means a place where one can walk. This describes me in a nutshell since I live in my head quite a bit and even though it lets me escape, it does come with being blacklisted for not always paying attention. My thoughts are everlastingly swimming in my head. Sometimes it’s like a storm with lightning slithering their jagged fingers across the sky only for seconds, I can barely hold them inside my brain. Other times it’s like ink being dropped in pristine water. It starts as beautifully mesmerizing little blotches of colour swishing and swaying through me. Then it expands and turns the water more and more murky until that’s the only thing I can see, the only thing I can focus on. The blotches are gone and I’m left with the colour enveloping and devouring every fiber of my being.
I am not a confident individual and I can be very self-loathing but that washes away when I write. When I put words down on paper I don’t have to talk. I can say what I want to and I don’t have to worry about the sharp pin-pricks of anxiety and the butterflies flapping their wings making me nauseous about if what I’m saying is right or wrong. Because when I write it’s not all that censored, it’s my true soul flowing out of me and leaking out onto my page. Through my blogging, I want to discover more about myself by pushing myself to write the truth and not just peering through the sparkling rose-tinted glasses. I want to achieve a greater outcome in my writing; to write from my imagination and what I observe about the world. I know the jumps I make won’t be logical because I’m not that kind of person. I zigzag through life and therefore my thoughts by transporting through portkeys (1) hidden in my brain. So, in short, through blogging, I want to find and get more comfortable with myself and maybe hopefully, help others along the way with that as well.
I chose the quote “The moon doesn’t consider one phase better than another; she just glows, equally stunning at each turn. Why should we be any different?”(Cristen Rodgers) because I have been through many phases in my life and some have been marvelous and others not so much. However, all have them helped me flourish into the person I am today. I am also quite a visual learner so the theme I chose allows for a nice big picture along with lots of other smaller visuals which can accumulate when I write. I chose to use a picture of koi fish, particularly the Asagi koi fish, (recognized by its colours of blue, grey, and red) since that certain type symbolizes positivity throughout life. My friends and family are extremely important to me and koi fish in their own pond represent love and friendship, which I think are two very important things to get the most of out of life. In this way I connect to the Cyprinus carpio (2) very much, I also love swimming, so my mom says I am a real-life fish.
(1) Is a reference to the “Harry Potter” series written by J.K Rowling; it is a magical device used to transport witches and wizards to various places across the earth by simply touching them.
(2) Is the scientific name for “koi fish.”
Citations
Koi Fish (top of the page): https://www.etsy.com/market/koi_art_print
Ocean (feature image): http://www.wmbfnews.com/2019/01/02/registration-open-north-myrtle-beach-ocean-rescue-junior-lifeguard-program/
Clouds (main title page): https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/clouds-aesthetic
Dear Simran,
I find your writing absolutely stunning. I loved your reasoning behind the koi fish I thought that it was very clever. I find your piece relatable because I to have trouble feeling comfortable with myself.
What I would work on is some of your writing to make it a little bit more clear. The only reason I am saying this is because some of it seemed a little awkward but if you were to reword it I’m sure it would be fantastic.
Otherwise your writing is beautiful and I cant wait to see what you write next. Keep up the good work because I think you are a phenomenal writer.
Sincerely,
Felicity
Dear Felicity,
Thank you so much for the delightful comment! I understand what you are saying for my feedback after rereading it aloud and I will do my best to make it better! I am also quite happy you have seemed to enjoy it! Have a magnificent day!
Truly,
Simran C.
Dear Simran,
This piece was well done and greatly executed. It was great to know a little bit about you and see what kind of writing I would expect in the future. The choices of words and imagery worked very well for this piece.
For my feedback, I would include more variety of sentences so that there are more than just simple sentences. I would also like to see more about yourself rather than giving little hints of your personality. The beginning of your blog was interesting, however, I was a bit confused why you were apologizing and saying you won’t lie to us. I thought it was not necessary since the reader won’t know much about you.
Besides those critiques this was a great piece and truly showed your writing style. Can not wait to read more of your work in the future.
Love,
Elena
Dear Elena,
Thank you very much for the sweet comment! I will take your feedback and I will try and execute it in my writing to the best of my abilities! I’m glad you can see my writing style because sometimes it can be hard for me to establish it properly. Have a wonderful day!
Love,
Simran C.
Dear Simran,
Holy I fell into your writing. Your descriptions and word choices are phenomenal. I felt like I was absorbed into your writing and forgot everything else. Your connections were my favourite part. “Sometimes it’s like a storm with lightning slithering their jagged fingers across the sky only for seconds, I can barely hold them inside my brain.” That was by far my favourite line of yours.
I would only suggest to lay back on the connections, analogies, I’m not too sure what they are called exactly. Those things should be used carefully and in a limited amount so it’s very meaningful. The amount that you used, especially in the first paragraph, makes each of the wonderful analogies (still don’t know) lose their meaning a bit.
I can’t wait to read more from you in the future!
Sincerely,
Tina
Dear Tina,
Thank you a lot for the charming comment! I think I understand what you are talking about for what I should do better and I will take it into extreme consideration! I am glad that you liked my imagery! Have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious type of day!
Truly,
Simran C.
Dear Simran,
Wow you are a really talented writer your descriptions and word choices are incredible and really add to how your writing flows. I especially like the line ” My thoughts are everlastingly swimming in my head.” it is so well worded and really shows how your thoughts cloud your head.
Something I would have take another look is just small GUMP’s and grammar mistakes but other then that great job.
I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. 🙂
Sincerely,
Aliza.
Dear Aliza,
Thank you incredibly much for the amiable comment! I will definitely review it again and try and get the rest of my GUMPs in order. Thank you and have a bodacious day!
Truly,
Simran C.
Dear Simran,
I really enjoyed reading your About Me! Your writing style ad tone both flowed nicely and fit with what you were writing about. After reading it, I definitely feel like a know you better, and I can relate to what you were writing in the first and last paragraphs.
For improvement, I’d move your third paragraph to the end. I felt that the subject of the last paragraph fit better with the first two, and the third paragraph was a little out of place. It didn’t throw me off too much, but it slightly interrupted the flow.
Your style of writing is very nice to read! You’re a very good writer and I hope to read more of your writing in the future!
Sincerely,
Caitlyn
Dear Caitlyn,
Thank you tremendously for the pleasant comment! I’m extremely happy that you found yourself correlating with some of the elements of what I wrote, it’s sometimes easy to forget that there are people just like you facing and trying to conquer the same things in which you want to defeat. I will definitely fix the order of my paragraphs, I can see exactly what you mean. Thank you very much for the feedback and I hope you have an astounding day!
Truly,
Simran C.
Dear Simran,
This work was truly amazing! I love the whole piece and your vocabulary is fantastic. That really added a mature touch.
One thing you could possibly work on is sentence structure. I felt a lot of the sentences were in the same structure and it took away from the amazing work because it wasn’t interesting to the eye. But it was still amazing!
I can’t wait to read more work from you!
Sincerely,
Camdyn <3
Dear Camdyn,
Thank you immensely for the beautiful comment! I am glad that you thought I had some good vocabulary since I have struggled with that! I will definitely go through it again and fix the sentences and the GUMPs that are hindering the effectiveness of my work. Thank you and have a stupendous day!
Truly,
Simran C.
Dear Simran,
Can I just start off by saying how deeply in love I am with this piece of writing! It’s truly excellent. Even though we have known each other for countless years now, I believe I have learned so much about you in a span of a couple of paragraphs. That’s crazy! The honesty in your voice was something I admire and the tone was playful yet so affcetive for your charming personality. It really brought this piece to life! All of the comparisons you used throughout your work also established a unqiue tone and it drew the reader in, asking for more.
This piece was very strong and I dont think I could actually find any erros with it except for a few minor grammatical mistakes here and there. At some places there may have been and extra comma or two so just make sure to fix those tiny mistkes. Also I think it would be beneficial for you to experiment with different sentence lenghths as it would captivate your reader more into your writing and leave them awestruck.
Overall, this was a very well-rounded piece, I adored it. I can’t wait to read more of your fantastic work!
Sincerely,
Arzoo
Dear Arzoo,
Thank you incredibly much for the lovable comment! I’m remarkably content that you were able to learn even more about me! I will go through this and find all the GUMPs and I will try to add various types of sentence structure. Thank you again and have a pleasantly riveting day!
Truly,
Simran